Happy Dance

Have you ever searched for something in your life and felt like you asked all the questions, and when the answers came they made perfect sense?

That when you accepted the answers you felt an acceptance of those answers in your heart in doing so?

Then all of a sudden, weeks down the track,  you saw other things that were maybe not visable there at the time of the original questions, or maybe they were but they were just placed in the too hard basket for a while?

Now the answers dont come so fast,

Now the questions are harder, or is it maybe that the searching is deeper than before?

Whatever it is, it has the ability to steal ones peace, and to take the joy and security away that one enjoyed maybe even just a couple of years ago.

Did I really accept the answers to my questions or did I just convince myself because I wanted to,  even if I didn't totally understand it? I really dont know....

All I do know for sure is that at this time I am more than confused than I was before the questioning started, I am trying so hard to make sense of this turmoil within me.

I know that I will have frustrated people and dissapointed some, and that upsets me. I know more than anything I am dissapointed in myself.

Dear Lord forgive me, I am so tired of this turmoil inside me... Help me to see clearly the things that You want me to see. Let this battle within me cease and let me feel Your peace.

I love You Lord and I only want to worship and serve You always..

Les