Happy Dance

Well, I have sat at my keyboard day after day and struggled to find something within me to write
Something that was not just of me but something that would lift up and glorify my Lord.

Yet here I am again and my page is blank yet again. There are words within me that churn around within my head and in my heart, but for some reason I cannot seem to get them out and onto the page to make sense of them.

I guess I am tired, but I know within myself that I yearn to be able to feel that freedom and blessing from the words that God gives me at times to write. It does not have to make sense to anyone else, but only to me and to my God, because it is to Him I want to give glory and praise.

This year has been hard and it has had some stress with it, but the Holy Spirit has also taught me much through all the trials and grief attached to the year.

A few years ago, a dear friend counselled me and taught me about how to experience freedom and healing from past hurts and how to deal with future hurts. He told me that if I learnt the lessons then, and accepted the healing and freedom that came from those lessons, that when future storms and battles arose in my life I would deal with them in the new way I had learned.

In my past, it had been usual for me to deal with pain by stuffing it deep within me and pretending it did not exist, that only helped the pain to fester and to bind me up spiritually and physically.

This time I have exposed it to the light of Christ and to the guidance and healing of the Holy Spirit.

My friend told me I would not be able to go back to my old ways that it would not happen like that again, because I had exchanged an old part of my fleshly ways for a new way in the Spirit.

Lampwicke my friend, you were so right, as hard as my flesh battled to send me back to those darker years, my spirit would not allow it because it had become something dead.
Yes, I still did feel the temptations to become again as if I was back again during those darker years. I think the word for it is Ostrich syndrome, you know the one, where one puts ones head in the sand and pretends something did not happen, just so one can cope without feeling the pain at the time?

I did for a short while; want to allow anger and hurt give me an excuse to hold onto unforgiveness, at least for a little while longer. My spirit would not allow that anymore though, because that part of me is dead, and I am thankful to God that it is and that I remain alive and free in the spirit.

I learned the lesson, I faced and am still facing the situation and I am allowing the healing of the Holy Spirit in each and every situation He brings to my memory and importantly now I am also letting go and forgiving those involved, each act of forgiveness rewards me with more and more of God’s peace and freedom.

I started off saying I had a blank page and I didn’t know what to write or even how to start, and that was true, but now I have come to the end of this and seen there has appeared a page of writing.
I have no idea why or how I wrote all that because I did not have anything to start with, I just allowed my heart to empty onto this page.

As I said in the beginning it does not matter if it makes sense to anyone or even to me, it only matters that I obey Him and that is what I did.


So Lord, I am thanking You for Your healing, for Your peace, for Your strength, for Your guidance, for Your presence, for all my brothers and sisters You send to me at the right time, when You know I have a need to speak and share with someone.



1 Chron 16:8-13

Oh give thanks to the LORD, call upon His name;
Make known His deeds among the peoples.
Sing to Him, sing praises to Him;
Speak of all His wonders.
Glory in His holy name;
Let the heart of those who seek the LORD be glad.
Seek the LORD and His strength;
Seek His face continually.
Remember His wonderful deeds which He has done,
His marvels and the judgments from His mouth,
O seed of Israel His servant,
Sons of Jacob, His chosen ones!