Happy Dance

Nearly 32 years ago [on the 23rd August] I gave birth to a baby girl after spending 2 months in the hospital trying to save her life, she was born dead at 36 weeks. They wouldnt let me see her, hold her, they just simply took her away and told me to forget I had been pregnant. See in those days that is the way they did things, it was very brutal and very cruel, there was never a chance to really grieve or to say goodbye, there was nothing that one could do to put closure on this.

I asked my husband to see the funeral director and tell him that we wanted to be there when they buried her, but we were just told...too late its been done, but here is the bill for it all. So there has not been many days go by in those 30 years that I have not wondered where they laid her to rest, I knew where she was! she was with her God in Heaven, He sent her to do a task and she completed that by pointing us to Him. I still needed to know where they laid her body though. Every year on her birthday this would trouble me more. This year she would have been 30, and I was determined to find her this time. I rang a few people eventually, I was given the name of a man that was in charge of the cemetaries here in this town....he was so nice and he told me that they knew there were a lot out there still wondering where their children were. So he arranged to have a headstone made..which the company that made it then donated it for the babies buried in an unmarked plot in the cemetary.

Yesterday they had a ceremony to unveil that headstone, and it was lovely, they also had white balloons tied to the fence that parents could release in memory of their babies. John and I released one each and the balloons flew straight up, so high that eventually they dissapeared from sight. Quite fitting I think, because I know that she is up there so high up , so happy with her God.

The ceremony was over...the mayor had spoken, and then the Holy Spirit prompted me to ask the mayor if I could please say a word.... Now for those that know me, this is just not me, I just dont do it well at all standing in front of people and speaking, but the prompting was so strong and so I was obedient to my God and just let him give me the words He wanted me to say. I knew that there was then a release in the hearts of the other parents, and one by one they all came forward and spoke from their hearts, they all then said by doing this they now found some closure and release.

There was a photographer from the newspaper that took our photos and they will do a story on this, I feel that will be a good thing, because for all those then that never got to be there or even knew it was on, they will also then know where to go...

I dont intend to be there visiting a headstone often, because I know she is really not there her body may be but her spirit has, like that while balloon been flying high and free since the day God took her to be with Him.

John 11:25-26 Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die. Believest thou this?

Joanne Louise, I love you and one day I will hug you, I look forward to that day.

Love from your momma xxx

It’s been 30 years now Lord since she went to live with You. I miss her Lord, and You know how much I love her so.

As much as my heart is full of love for her, it still cannot come close to the love You have for her. Please Lord will You tell her I love her still, and I will be there one day to hold her.

I used to wonder why You took her before she was even born. Why we never got to take her home. I never got to hold her, to see her or tell her how much I loved her and how much she was wanted.

Father God I see now, her purpose in this life. She was sent to bring us back home to You.

Such a short life. Such a full ministry she had. Your purpose in her life was fulfilled and You took her back to be with You....thank You Lord for the gift of this angel even for a short time...I was blessed to have been able to carry her in my womb for all those months.

She was buried and yet for all those years I didn’t know where. There was no grave for her. An unmarked plot was all they would say. Everyday I would wonder and every year on her birthday I would wonder even more...I knew she was with You, but I would liked to have known where they laid her body to rest.

You heard the cry of my heart Lord, You answered my prayer.

A man who loves You too, also heard Your voice and now I know the place she rests, a white picket fence he has put around the plot and a stone remembering her and other precious babies.

Thank You Lord for this healing... This love of Yours to me.

30 years Lord it’s been, and in each of those days, there You were with me all the way. Always using this time in my life to build me and change me and heal me and make me free.

Thank You Lord for all those 30 years and thank You Lord for this answer this week. And thank You Lord for my Joanne Louise... An angel lent for such a short time, but a lifetime of love to us and from us.

Phil 1:6 We are confident of this very thing,
that He who has begun a good work in us will complete it
Until the day of Jesus Christ.


I love You Abba with all my heart

Les